Writing Humor

My husband made an interesting observation the other day. He said, “My life would be funny if it wasn’t my life.” If I told you some of the stories about his family, you would laugh and either: 1) wonder if it is really true, or 2) be thankful your family is normal, comparatively speaking.

I’ve tried to write short stories that incorporate some of his family’s antics, but they never come out right. I try to disguise the characters, change the setting, alter the words spoken, but somehow those adjustments make it so it isn’t funny anymore.

Writing humor is hard. I admire those who can put wit onto paper and make people laugh, or at least smile. It doesn’t always have to be a belly laugh kind of funny either—sometimes subtle humor can also make your day.

In my quest to “write funny” I found a few pointers:

1.       Humor comes from pain or embarrassment. As with my husband, his family isn’t funny to him because he lives it in real life, but to others it’s a laughfest. Like the time my mother-in-law started screaming at a waiter in a restaurant on a Friday night and the room went silent…

2.       Humor can’t be forced. I think this is my problem. If I tell the story out loud, people laugh. When I write the same story, I’m trying hard to make it funny because people can’t hear the inflection in my voice or see my facial expressions. Like the first time I went to my mother-in-law’s house and she handed me a wooden box and told me to meet her mother…

3.       Humor is relational. If people can’t relate to the situation, it won’t be funny no matter what. But who doesn’t have a family? Even if the family does and says all the right things, people understand familial dynamics. Like the Christmas my mother-in-law sent me one tealight candle, a “free gift with purchase”, and an extra-large tee-shirt that said, “Trucker From Hell”…

I dare write these things because I know my husband’s family doesn’t read my blog. Hopefully today isn’t the day they start.

WOW! Women on Writing

 

WOW! Women on Writing (http://www.wow-womenonwriting.com/) is an e-zine that began in 2006, and has evolved into a global website that has over 10,000 visitors a day. Angela Mackintosh, the Founder and CEO, is an incredible artist and writer who has put her heart and soul into creating a friendly place for writers to come and learn more about the craft (read my review here: http://www.readablewriter.com/Reviews.html).

Ms. Mackintosh has run WOW! the smart way—by surrounding herself with other women who have stepped up and taken ownership of the site. These women are dedicated to putting out quality information, issue after issue, and it has paid off.

The current issue couldn’t have come at a better time. I sent the second book of my trilogy to my publisher, and it came back with requests for edits. I thought I had edited it to death before, so I decided to read what other people did in the editing and revision process.

After reading Devon Ellington’s article, “The Layered Edit”, I am more excited about tackling my edits. She uses a color-coded system, which I’m going to try. I generally edit and fix as I go, but using colors will most likely help point out areas that need extra attention. She also uses what she calls “purpose sheets” where she analyzes the characters and each scene to decide whether it stays or goes. It seems labor intensive, but I see how her method will help me cut words. I am certainly glad that WOW! published this piece.

Katherine Higgs-Coulthard also has a great article, “Help! I’ve Frankenmonstered My Manuscript”. If that title doesn’t catch your attention, her article will. I can relate to several of her examples, and have even created a frankenmonster a time or two myself. I managed to write myself out of them, but only after serious revision. Her tips are great, and I can see how they can help.

The column, “10 Questions” by Elizabeth Maria Naranjo is relevant. The two editors who were interviewed, Kelly Lynne and Annette Rogers, provided valuable advice. I especially appreciated their answers to questions four, five, and seven.

WOW! has been one of the Writer’s Digest “Best Websites for Writers” since 2008, for good reason. It provides fresh, interesting, and varied, content that is applicable to today’s writers. It's definitely one of my go-to places when I need suggestions and guidance.

 

Copyright Infringement

Thanks to the Internet, copyright infringement is on the rise. If you have copyrighted information that is being wrongfully used on the Internet, there are steps you should take to protect your work.

Often, people think they just need to send a “cease and desist” letter, but you may have to worry about the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) takedown notice as well. A cease and desist letter is for the owner of the website, as well as the server that hosts the site. The DMCA takedown notice is for any website owner, server, or search engine that has a DMCA agent. It is also for a website owner that allows third parties to post content, and the third party is the one who is infringing (think of your social media sites).

A cease and desist letter should include the following:

1.       Your name

2.       The work being infringed

3.       The copyright registration number if you have registered the copyright with the Copyright Office in Washington D.C.

4.       The infringing website URL

5.       A statement demanding that the work be removed from the Internet with all copies destroyed

6.       A statement that you will seek damages for the infringement

7.       A date by which the recipient should comply

A few notes about the cease and desist letter: if your work is not registered, your claim for damages will be small, and the likelihood of a quick response from the infringer is low because they probably don’t have a lot to lose by failing to comply. Also, if you are dealing with a website or a host server in a foreign country, the likelihood of success is minimal unless the country has signed onto the Berne Convention.

For a DMCA takedown notice, you should include the following:

1.       Your contact information and signature (the signature can be electronic)

2.       The work being infringed upon

3.       The infringing website URL

4.       A statement indicating that you have a good faith belief that the use of the material is not authorized by the copyright owner, the copyright holder, or the Copyright Act, and that under the penalty of perjury, the information you are passing on is accurate and you are the owner and have the exclusive rights to the work

You do not request damages in a takedown notice; however, if the content is not removed within a reasonable amount of time, then you can send the cease and desist letter demanding damages. Also, if your takedown notice is going to a search engine, you should send instructions on where to find the infringing content in the website as well as a screenshot of the search query you made that led you to the website.

It is always a good idea to send these letters by mail or other courier service so you get notification that the recipient received it. That way you can prove they had notice, and it shows you are serious about making an infringement claim against them.

Although pursuing claims for infringement isn’t fun, it’s necessary. If websites, website hosts, or website servers think they can get away with posting your content for free, they’ll continue to do it.

 

Breaking Rules

Being a lawyer, I generally like to follow rules. Doing so makes my life easier, and keeps me out of trouble. The legal term “precedence” means to follow what has come before, and when a court uses precedence in deciding a case, it makes the outcome relatively predictable.

In my non-legal world, I love to break rules if there are no dire consequences. There is something about defying authority that has allure. Remember breaking your curfew? Remember driving over the speed limit and not getting caught? Remember cheating on a diet?

Who is making the rules anyway—parents, government, yourself? If you break a rule and don’t hurt yourself or anyone else, is that a bad thing? Rules have a purpose in every aspect of our life. They keep our society functioning, they guide us in the right direction, and they tell us what is acceptable.

What about the rules of writing? At one time, it was taboo to start a word with “and” or “but”—your high school teacher put big red marks on your paper if you did. But the rules have changed. And you even see best-selling authors doing the previously unthinkable.

Some writing rules should never be broken, but there are several that can be. Robert Masello has his own set of rules (see my review of Robert ’s Rules of Writing here) that will make you think about what you’ve learned or heard along your writing journey. When you read his book, sometimes you’ll feel validation because you’ve already experienced his rule, and other times you’ll feel like you’ve got to try playing his way because it sounds like more fun than you’ve been having.

I always thought my writing rules were basic: 1) get something onto paper, 2) edit, 3) submit. After reading Mr. Masello’s book, I realized my rules go deeper than that, but just never put much consideration into what they are.

Maybe you have your personal set of writing rules that work for you. If so, please share them!

Out of Bad Comes Good

“Tragedy Times Three”, the headline of our local newspaper, The Idaho Enterprise, screams. And a tragedy it is. Three people murdered in our small county—a father, son, and son’s girlfriend. Actually, the tragedy also extends to two others, as the girlfriend’s two-year-old and two-month-old daughters were found alive at the crime scene and now have no mother.

Out of this unfortunate situation, something good has come. Authorities found sixty-four pit bulls that were part of a dog fighting ring. Although one had to be euthanized, the other sixty-three were taken to the Idaho Humane Society in Boise, Idaho (See the story here https://www.idahohumanesociety.org/news/2013/04/63-pit-bulls-from-oneida-county-arrive-at-ihs.aspx).

These animals have a chance. They have an opportunity for positive human interaction. They have hope. In almost every photo I’ve seen, the dogs look relieved because somehow they understand they’re being rescued from an impossible situation. They’re being held in someone’s arms, or playing with one of the handlers. It’s a beautiful thing.

I know many people don’t see any value to pit bulls, but they happen to be my breed of choice. Our first pit bull, Lucille, was rescued from a dog fighting operation in Wyoming. Our current pit bull, Zeb, was rescued from an abusive situation. Either one of them could have been a mean dog, but with love, time, and patience, both came to understand that they were home and weren’t going to be hurt.

I’m an advocate of breed-neutral laws because all pit bulls are not dangerous. I know a Pomeranian and a Yorkie that are meaner than most pits. Cities and counties shouldn’t ban a breed just because they deem it “dangerous”. Of course, some dogs can’t be changed, and it may be safer for people and for the dog if they are put down. But again, it isn’t only pit bulls.

Owners should have responsibility as well. Anyone who owns a pet should be cognizant of his or her animal and its propensities. Sometimes I take Zeb to work with me, and I take him along when I run errands. He is curious and vocal when he wants people to notice him and pay attention to him, and almost everyone he meets tells me they never thought they’d ever pet a pit bull. But I also know what he fears—big men with baseball hats. I do everything possible to keep him safe and in control because that’s my job.

I’ll get off my soapbox now, and leave you with this poem I wrote that is published in the book Dog Blessings:

Lessons

If I greeted everyone happily
Instead of eyeing with distrust
If I didn’t pass judgment
But accepted all
If I listened intently
With understanding in my eyes
If I brought comfort
All the time, no matter what
If I loved unconditionally
Without reservation
If I lived life more simply
Instead of worrying so much
If I played tirelessly
And didn’t work so hard
If I made people smile
Just by my presence in the room
If I experienced true joy
At the little things in life
Then I’d be the perfect friend
Just like my dog

 

How Did You Learn to Write?

I spoke with a woman who said she wants to be a published writer, but wasn’t sure how to go about it. She said she doesn’t feel she learned how to write creatively in school. What she learned was how to regurgitate research into book reports and essays. She asked me how I learned to write.

Thinking back on middle school and high school, I wasn’t given much opportunity to write creatively either. English was a class we were forced to take, and was rarely enjoyable. The only time I remember English being fun was when Ms. Hawkins gave us a poetry assignment. We had to compose at least ten poems and put them into folders with some kind of artwork.

I wrote short stories and poetry on my own, but didn’t share them with anyone. I thought my work was great, but decided to test it out. I took the aptitude test for the Institute of Children’s Literature (read my review of it and its sister company, Long Ridge Writers Group here), and enrolled in the short story course after I was accepted. I took a few more courses from the Institute of Children’s Literature as well as Long Ridge Writers Group. Those two companies taught me the most about writing through their personalized, one-on-one method of coursework.

I also took a few writing classes through our school district’s community education, mostly because they were inexpensive and because I liked the people who were teaching. In those classes, I also learned that there are many people who don’t know how to write, so sometimes Thursday nights were painful. However, my take-away was learning to give helpful critiques and feedback.

The other way I learned to write was through all the books on writing that are available. I read several each year, and am sharing reviews every week on my website, www.ReadableWriter.com.

We all have to start somewhere, and I was thrilled to share my learning experiences with someone else. The woman I spoke with is now looking into Long Ridge Writers Group because she likes the idea of working directly with a published author. She said she didn’t have the confidence to enroll in an online class yet, but would consider that option if she only had to share her work with the instructor. Hopefully I set her on a good path, and she’ll reach her goals.

Monkey Mind

I read a great article in the April 2013 issue of Runner’s World, called “The Zen Zone.” It starts off eavesdropping on what a runner might be thinking to himself. Those thoughts are scattered from running gear to food, to scenery, what Buddhists call “monkey mind.”

Monkey mind, or those random thoughts that keep popping up, happen to writers too. It might be something like this: Need to write. What about the dishes? I’m hungry. Next time I go to the grocery store, I need to remember to buy tofu. I wonder what my neighbor is doing? Maybe I should brush the dog.

Don’t worry; monkey mind is normal—to a point. When the monkeys are noisy and start saying mean, nasty things (You think you’re a writer? You have nothing to say that anyone will want to read. You can’t finish a novel. This is crap and you’ll be laughed off the face of this Earth!), it’s time to throw the monkeys a banana or two.

Buddhists recommend meditation to cure monkey mind. Now don’t get me wrong, meditation is great, and it can clear your mind and bring focus. Runners need to bring their mind and body into balance, and meditation helps with that. But I think writers have a lot of other tools as well, to bring their mind to their writing.

Some writers have certain music that motivates, others journal. Some use a timer and write anything for thirty minutes to see if it gets the creativity going, others mind map. Some writers research, others interview characters. Some edit what’s already been written, others grit their teeth and just write, knowing they can toss it out with the garbage if they need to.

A little monkey is okay. But when the monkey is wild, do whatever you need to, whatever works for you, to get that monkey off your back.

 

Marketing with Social Media

Before I waded into the world of social media, I did a lot of research. I wanted to know as much as possible about LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter so I didn’t make a fool out of myself. I read several online articles, watched several videos, and still hesitated to jump in.

Why? Because I received a lot of conflicting information.

There are differing viewpoints about setting up profiles, what to share, what not to share (I’m appalled at some posts I’ve read), how often to share, and I just wanted basic information to start with.

Enter Social Media Marketing for Dummies by Phyllis Khare (see my review here). I was able to glean from her book, the general material I needed to open accounts. What I figured out while reading the book is this: social media needs to be professional if you’re trying to market yourself as a writer.

That doesn’t mean you can’t put in cute pictures of your kids or your dogs. It doesn’t mean you can’t tell us about the fabulous dinner you had the night before. Being personal and personable are great qualities. But your posts need to reflect you and your brand and not turn off any potential publisher, editor, agent, or reader.

I’ve seen people make political statements, religious statements, rant about retailers, carry on about other people. If that isn't your brand, it can be a polarizing topic! Yes, we should all have opinions, but we should be mindful about how far we spread them. I know I don’t want to antagonize anyone who could potentially move my writing career forward. Being an attorney, I also must pay attention to privacy and ethical issues. It’s a huge topic that every bar association is talking about, and until the rules are settled, social media for attorneys can be unsettling.

Social media has helped careers; social media has hurt careers. Think about your message before you post to ensure that it is relevant and helpful, and not harmful.

Risk

I fully admit that I love to gamble. I like to take risks, but am very good at controlling them. So if I’m headed to Vegas or go to Blackhawk, Colorado, I take the amount of cash I’m willing to lose, and if and when it’s gone, it’s gone, and I’m done. That means I also have to pace myself so I don’t blow it all in the first ten minutes I’m there.

I don’t play the “big people” games—craps, blackjack, poker, roulette; I’m a dollar slot machine kind of gal. I don’t like to think hard when I’m having fun, and playing the slots only requires the push of a button or the pull of a handle. Instead, I can people watch, or talk with the person next to me, or let my mind wander into dreamland where I win the huge jackpot. Besides, I don’t know how to play the “big people” games, so I tend to stay away from them.

My risk taking goes into other parts of my life as well. I love to trail run, and have met up with mountain lions, coyotes, bulls, skunks, and moose. I love to play around in the Forex market, trading currencies. I love to challenge myself to do new things that intrigue me.

Risk-taking spills over into my writing. My risks may seem silly to some, but they’re a big deal to me. For example, my main genres are science fiction and mysteries. I’m not a romance writer, but the last few books that I’ve written have romantic elements to them. I had to stretch myself and go where I’ve never dared before, and in the back of my mind, I kept wondering what Sister Jenkins, a former Sunday school teacher, would think. It’s not explicit sex by any means, but just the little bit I wrote had me worried.

However, if I never take the risk, I’ll never know what I can do. I’ve been rolling around a screenplay in my mind, so maybe that’s the next gamble I’ll take.

Or maybe I’ll learn the “big people” games…