So I've done a bad thing--I've let myself slide all week long ...

I find that I work better under pressure. After all, I managed to crank out the last 4,000 words to get me over the NANO 50,000 word mark on Monday. But since then, I have done a whole bunch of nothing.

At night when I reflect back on my day, I wonder what I did. I can honestly say that from Tuesday through Friday, I haven't been productive in any way. I've played computer games, surfed the Web, piled more junk up on the tables in my office. It's not good.

I decided this morning that I have to do something substantial today so that when I go to sleep tonight I can feel like I didn't spend hours merely consuming air, food and water. I am going to accomplish great things!

There is never a shortage of things to do, and I feel so much better when I can say I completed tasks that moved my life forward.

Here I go--I'm on my way to a great day!

Hard to believe it's almost the end of November--and the end of NANO!

I fell woefully behind last week because of some family medical emergencies. So I took my current word count, figured out how far away from 50,000 words I was. Then I counted the number of days left in November. By doing some simple math, I figured out that I had to write 2,834 words a day to get to my goal. So far, it's worked, and there are only 2 days left.

I am looking forward to December 1. It will be a glorious day in my life!

But I will also rejoice because I overcame some curveballs and with perseverance, will once again reach my goal.

I do vow to continue to work on my novel every day until it's done. My new goal is to complete the horrible thing we call a rough draft by December 31. I don't want to lose the momentum I've built, and I want to start 2010 with another piece that I can work and polish so I have another manuscript ready to send out.

The difference is the pressure won't be the same. I'll have to finish under my own self-imposed rules.

I'll let you know how it goes ...

The stress of feeling behind all the time can be overwhelming.

I always have a plan, a tight schedule, that I try to follow. It helps if I map out my day by the hour, so I can stay on track. I love being able to cross off each hour because I feel a sense of accomplishment. But sometimes I have to be flexible in my rigid schedule, and that throws me off.

Sometimes, life gets in the way.

I was right on target with my NANO word count, and the unexpected happened. Last Monday, my mom fell and broke her hip. We live in a small town, so the ambulance had to take her to a hospital that is 55 miles away. I tried to keep up with the 1,667 words a day. I tried to work with a new client. I tried to stay on top of my coaching program assignment. But my life fell apart this week and I am woefully behind.

I realized that all my good intentions don't matter when it comes to some things, like family. There will be long hours for the rest of the month as I type as fast as I can to reach 50,000 words. There will be other clients. And I might turn in my assignment late, but it will get done.

Family trumps all, and I know that somehow, my life will fall back into place and I'll be a stronger, better person when the dust settles.

I'll keep reminding myself : inch by inch it's a cinch; yard by yard it's hard.

Yesterday was Friday the 13th.

I'm not superstitious, but there was a lot of craziness yesterday, and I didn't get much done. I vowed last weekend to stay on top of NANO to avoid getting so far behind. It was hard writing 8,000 words over two days. So you think I'd learn. But I didn't write at all yesterday. That means today, I'm looking at 3,334 words.

Life taken in small pieces is so much easier than tackling them in big chunks. Lately I've been chanting over and over, "inch by inch it's a cinch; yard by yard it's hard". My to-do list is overwhelming, so I break it down: an hour for this task, an hour for that task. Of course I have to be a little flexible because if I'm on a writing roll, I don't want to stop on the hour. I let my muse go and then try not to stress out because I'm off schedule.

So a few hours set aside today for NANO, and I'll be back on track. I'll chip away at the other things that need to be done as well and see what I can accomplish. By the time I hit my bed tonight, I should be content in knowing I did my best.

I'm behind and I hate it.

I love NaNoWriMo, a whole month of getting a great start on a new novel. It's exciting, it's invigorating . . . and it's frustrating. I don't know who I'm kidding, but I was really sure my book was going to erupt from me and the words would just fall out on the screen. I know a lot of details about my book. I know the beginning, the middle and the end. I know the characters, the theme, and the subplots. It's all in my head, churning and eager to get out.

So what's the problem? I haven't really gotten started yet, and I should be at 10,000 words today. I am great at making excuses.

On Monday, we had to go get two cords of wood. It takes about seven hours and it's hard work. So I decided I was too tired to sit down and knock out a page or two.

Then Tuesday, I taught at the high school until 1:10 p.m. and had an appointment to donate blood after. Even though I was home before 3:00, I didn't open what I'd started on Sunday because I didn't think I was in the right frame of mind. Besides, I had my watercolor class at 7:00 and had to get the family fed before 6:30 so I could go.

Wednesday I did everything that didn't get done on Monday and Tuesday.

On Thursday, I went to Salt Lake and got home at 4:30. I turned on my computer, read my email, played a few games, then decided it was more important to watch Bones than write.

Today, I realized this great book inside of me is going to stay locked up unless I sit down and get serious. So what did I do? I did all the laundry I could find. I worked out--twice. I skimmed two magazines. Then I finally opened up my document and started reading what I'd written.

It was nice. It flowed. It wasn't half bad. I rolled up my sleeves and wrote. I am to 3,000 words now, still a long way from where I should be, but I wrote. And I will write tomorrow and the next day and the next until November 30 when at least 50,000 words are down.

To outline or not to outline?

That's a question I've struggled with many times. The first year I participated in NANO in 2007, I wrote a very detailed outline using the book First Draft in 30 Days. I found my book easy to write because I knew exactly where I was going each day and I didn't stray from the course at all. I love my characters and where it ended, but I haven't gone back to that manuscript to revise and edit, and to see if I still love it.

In my second year of NANO in 2008, I had an idea floating around in my brain. I sort of knew who my characters were, the setting, the plot. I went forward with my half-baked (more like quarter-baked) idea and my characters grew through the story. I thought I knew where the book would end up, but it took a surprising turn in the middle--one that I went with even though I didn't know where it was going. The end result? A book I love, characters I love, and so far, 16 rejection letters from agents. But it is a book I am willing to put out there because I love it that much.

The new year of NANO starts on Sunday. I've been toying with an idea since last spring, and it has been percolating for a long time--at least long by my standards. I'm going middle of the road this time: I wrote a summary that is nine pages long and like it so far. We'll see how the 30 days of November goes with this novel writing method.

I have no doubt I'll make my 50,000 word goal as I have the past two years. I love this challenge and hope to create a new manuscript that I'll love and want to market!

Yesterday my husband and I went to cut wood. We found a huge grove of standing dead trees we could take. As we worked, I thought about how many people cut their own wood and how long the forest can sustain the loss of trees.

But my husband pointed out that we are contributing to the ecosystem by taking out the dead wood. We're making way for new growth and limiting the spread of forest fires since the dead trees burn faster.

Applying this to my own life, I considered all the dead wood I carry around: grudges, dislike, opinions, beliefs, prejudices, biases. If I take the time to clean out my forest, I can make way for renewal and growth.

And isn't that what life is all about?