Stonger than the Struggle

On Father’s Day, I spent time thinking about my dad. He’s been gone for three years now—some days it seems like it’s been much longer, other days it seems like a fresh wound. Either way, he’s not here and didn’t get to see my first book, 2012: The Rising, published.

Speaking of that first book, I started writing it in 2009. It should have been out to agents and publishing houses in 2010. But when my dad died in May 2010, my life stopped. I didn’t run well that year and I didn’t write much that year. 2010 was the only year since I started NANO that I failed to make my fifty thousand words.

I kick myself for not persevering. Since my book is specifically about whether or not Earth would end on December 21, 2012 (which it obviously didn’t), I should have given it the attention it needed so it could have been published earlier and not on December 14, 2012. I often wonder if sales would have been better, had I not shut down.

I remember all the times in my life when I wanted to quit. My dad told me that the Hirase mind is stronger than the struggle, so I must keep going. That’s why I kept taking swimming lessons,  that’s why I’ve never had a DNF (did not finish) in a race, that’s why I finished law school, that’s why I completed my book in 2011.

Thanks to my dad’s advice, I am a strong athlete, I have a satisfying career, and I am a published author.

“Stronger than the struggle” is a great mantra that lifts my spirits when I’m ready to quit, and keeps me driving forward.

Thanks, Dad.

I was at the gym working out the other day, and a woman I see regularly approached me. She said, “I see you running all the time, and it reminds me of how I used to be. I love to run, but can no longer do it because I have a pacemaker.”

I told her that I enjoy running, but some days it's not as enjoyable because I'm inside running on a treadmill.

She looked at me and said, “At least you get to run.”

I had to think long and hard about that. If I couldn't run, what would I do? I see her at the gym all the time on the elliptical or lifting weights, and she is fit and happy. I take for granted, that my body allows me to run.

 

The next day, I ran for a different purpose--not just because I feel like I should, but because I can.

The same lesson applies to my writing. People tell me, “I’ve always wanted to write a book, but I don’t have time.” Or, “I’ve always hated to write, but one day I’ll write a book.”

Today, I looked at my writing with a different purpose. One of my dreams was to publish a book for my dad to see. Unfortunately, I waited too long. Now I write not only because I can, but because I don't want to have any other regrets.

Writing is hard. There are days that few words come out. There are other days that I write and feel like I can't stop. Of course, those are the days I enjoy more, but the days I struggle are worth it. The days that I struggle are the days I know I have worked toward my goal of no regrets.

Just as I fight the boredom of running on a treadmill, and fight the days that I don't feel like running, I fight to put the words on paper.

 

In the end, I know that pushing myself will net the gains I desire whether I'm running or writing.

Tuning In

A lot of runners have a mantra or certain songs that boost their running. These are three of my favorites.

When I have a hard time convincing myself to get out the door, I think of the movie Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer:

Put one foot in front of the other,
And soon you’ll be walking cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking out the door

It’s amazing how often those words have gotten me to move. And once I’m out there, I always wonder why it was so hard to get going. On my longer runs, I changed the lyrics to Turn, Turn, Turn by the Byrds, and this is what goes through my mind:

When running laps - turn, turn, turn
Out on the track - turn, turn, turn
Or running the trails, the road, or the golf courses

A time to be fast, a time to be slow
A time to train, a time to race
A time to rest, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

When running laps - turn, turn, turn
Out on the track - turn, turn, turn
Or running the trails, the road, or the golf courses

A time to build, a time to taper
A time to rejoice, a time to mourn
A time to cast away shoes
A time to buy brand new gear

When running laps - turn, turn, turn
Out on the track - turn, turn, turn
Or running the trails, the road, or the golf courses

A time of cold, a time of heat
A time of gels, a time of PRs
A time you may DNF
A time to drink down those electrolytes

When running laps - turn, turn, turn
Out on the track - turn, turn, turn
Or running the trails, the road, or the golf courses

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to stretch, a time to massage
A time to love, a time to hate
Any time of day, I swear it's not too late!

Because I live on a mountain pass, I have a lot of hills. I can’t help but rock out to Spinning Wheel, by Blood, Sweat and Tears, and the lyrics I’ve created:

What goes up must come down
All those hills you can’t go around
Thinking about your knee pain it's a crying sin
Run like a wild pony
Let the running legs spin

You got no partners, and you, you got no dog
Training runs are sometimes a job
Thinking about your warm bed and you, you never learn
Run like a wild pony
Let the running legs turn

Did you find a directing sign
On the quiet and lonely long run?
Won’t you wear a friendly smile
Just let it shine through all the miles
And show the world you’re a runner for real

That finish line is waiting just for you
Running legs are running true
Drop your competition, by the river side
Run like a wild pony
Get your second wind, child

That PR is waiting just for you
Running legs are running true
Pick up the pace, by the river side
Run like a wild pony
Let the running legs fly

These little ditties help me through some tough times. I hope they’ll help you too, or at least put a smile on your face!