Being Likeable

Have you ever read a cringe-causing rant or comment online? Have you ever vented publicly on your social media sites? Have you ever been the recipient of online rudeness?

It seems with the advent of immediacy in sharing thoughts, especially if it is anonymous, people sometimes act/react badly and maybe later regret their words. If you are striving to be a professional, being likeable on social media is a must.

Does being likeable mean that you can’t be honest and open about your thoughts and feelings? No. Does being likeable mean that you can’t disagree with someone else? No. Does being likeable mean that you have to be meek and passive? No.

According to Likeable Social Media by Dave Kerpen (read my review here), being likeable means that you are genuine with your customers. Think about that for a moment. You are who you are. You write what you write. Not everyone will like you or your writing.

Even best-selling authors are who they are and write what they write knowing they have a specific audience. Within that audience, there are some who will hate the next book. I love Patricia Cornwell’s “Kay Scarpetta Series”. When Ms. Cornwell went away from the “Scarpetta” books to Isle of Dogs, Southern Cross, and Hornet’s Nest, I had the same one-star reaction that most readers had. Ms. Cornwell is who she is, wrote what she wrote, and thankfully left those books behind.

Is it because she listened to her critics? Could be. Her audience is her most important asset, and if she’s paying attention to her customers, then yes, she responded appropriately.

Reading a terrible review hurts. How you respond matters. Fighting back doesn’t usually help, but trying to understand the person’s point of view, if it’s constructive, may. Unfortunately, few people are constructive in their online criticism. I think I fall into the camp of “ignore”, because it’s impossible to please everyone.

I can only be who I am, write what I write, accept whatever comments come my way, and be what I think is likeable. It may help me win readers or it may cause me to lose readers, but if I can sleep well at night, that’s good enough for me.

The Function of Conjunctions

Some people believe that there are only three conjunctions: and, but, or. These are called coordinating conjunctions; however, there are other coordinating conjunctions: for, nor, so, yet. Coordinating conjunctions are the small words that bring attention to two or more grammatically equal words, phrases, or clauses. They also let us vary the length of sentences.

Equal words: Today I will run, bike, or hike.

Equal phrases: The company policy effectively 1) states its purpose, 2) provides guidance for employees, and 3) establishes penalties for violations.

Equal clauses: The people of Colorado voted to legalize marijuana, but the federal government still considers marijuana to be an illegal drug.

Adding variety original paragraph: Thunder rattled the windows. Lightning flashed across the black sky. There was no power. The wind found its way through the drafty house. The candle’s flame threatened to go out. It didn’t. Her shadow danced on the wall. It was eerie. She wasn’t scared.

Adding variety with conjunctions: Thunder rattled the windows and lightning flashed across the black sky. There was no power. Even though the wind found its way through the drafty house causing the candle’s flame to flicker, it didn’t go out. Her shadow eerily danced on the wall, but she wasn’t scared.

There are also correlative and subordinating conjunctions. A correlative conjunction has the same function as a coordinating conjunction, but the difference is that they pair up: either/or, neither/nor, not only/but also, whether/or, both/and. Just be sure you don’t try to match a phrase with a clause.

              Incorrect: He was not only a bachelor, but also he had a lot of money.

              Correct: He was not only a bachelor, but also a rich bachelor.

Incorrect: She couldn’t decide whether to wear a mini skirt, or if wearing a pair of pants was more appropriate.

            Correct: She couldn’t decide whether it was more appropriate to wear a mini skirt or pants.

A subordinating conjunction is used when the words you are joining together aren’t equal. In other words, you are using a subordinate clause to explain the main clause. The most common subordinating conjunctions are: after, as, as if, as long as, because, before, even though, if, in order that, now that, rather than, since, so that, than, that, though, unless, until, when, whenever, where, whereas, whether, while. Subordinating conjunctions help the writer emphasize an idea:

             She can go to the concert as long as she’s home by midnight.

Even though there was overwhelming evidence that he committed the murder, he maintained in his innocence until the day he was executed.

Conjunctions are an important part of sentence construction. They provide clarity and flow to your writing when you join words, phrases, and clauses together. Try different combinations, but leave some short sentences in as well to keep your writing interesting.

On Writing

It’s no secret that I love to read books about writing because I’m lifelong student of the craft. I also love to read autobiographies and memoirs because I like to get to know people that I’ll probably never get the opportunity to meet in real life.

If you read Stephen King’s book On Writing (read my review here), you’ll get both. I remember reading Carrie, Cujo, and Pet Sematary and wondering who could create such horror and suspense. Now I know that and so much more.

Mr. King is one of those authors that you imagine has never had to struggle, so it was encouraging to me to read about his life, how he began writing, and how he keeps going. He’s human and has the frailties, emotions, and misgivings we all can succumb to.

I think about my own writing journey, and dream often of the success enjoyed by the most popular authors. I know that some people have a natural talent for writing, while others have to work harder. But I also know that we all have the same tools at our disposal to be the best writer we can be.

If you have trouble with punctuation, grammar, dialogue, setting, description, plot, or characters, there are several books, classes, and websites available to help you improve. It’s a matter of finding the book, class, or website that speaks to you, that you can understand. What works for one, may not be right for someone else.

Even the best authors have beta readers, proofreaders, copy editors, line editors, and substantive editors to make their book as flawless as possible. But the best authors also have learned how to use punctuation, grammar, dialogue, setting, description, plot, and characters so that their editors are only cleaning up minor errors. No publisher is going to want to work with an author who doesn’t learn from his or her mistakes, no matter how good the story is.

When you reflect on your own writing, think about what you’ve learned along the way and what more you can learn. If you were to write a memoir/writing advice book like Stephen King, what has your writing journey looked like up until now, and what do you need to master to be a best-selling author? What do you know that you can pass on to others?

 

Those questions make me sit up and pay attention because I always want to do the best I can and continually improve.

UFOs

I just picked up my latest quilt top from my friend, Kathy, who put it together with the batting and backing since I don’t have a long-arm sewing machine. She does a great job, and I’m excited about the way my quilt looks.

However, I have a UFO—an unfinished object. I still need to finish the binding to make it complete. I know it will get done because it needs to go to Salt Lake City for a quilt contest at the end of this month, but sometimes the thought of finishing it seems daunting.

With my writing, I have several UFOs. Sometimes I lose interest in what I’m writing, sometimes I don’t feel like finishing it so it sits, sometimes I have an idea but it doesn’t go anywhere, and sometimes I forget that I started the story in the first place.

To me, having UFOs isn’t always a bad thing. For example, UFOs are okay if they are a way to get me to write every day, or at least several times a week. I might wake up with an idea and write a few paragraphs to see how it feels, to see where it heads, to see how interesting it is. It’s amazing how many abandoned stories or blog posts I have that started with a strange thought. It’s also amazing how many of those abandoned stories or blog posts have later been finished or in the case of stories, fleshed out in more detail for future writing.

I am also okay with UFOs that aren’t done because they require more research. This is mostly because I only do research when I’m in the mood. I’m not one to sit still for long and patiently try to find the information I need. I have to be in the right frame of mind.

Many of my UFOs are undone because they need editing. I love to edit, but it requires bigger blocks of time, and I’m often short on that. I have to purposely schedule editing into my schedule otherwise my UFOs remain UFOs for much longer.

The biggest problem with UFOs is that too many false starts may start to trip you up. You might begin to think that you can’t write, that you don’t have it in you to finish a novel, or that you are a miserable failure because you can’t finish anything you started. If you have several UFOs, take a long look at them and ask yourself why they’re unfinished. Is there anything worth resurrecting? Are they UFOs for a good reason? Can you muster up the enthusiasm to complete them?

Sometimes UFOs can be remedied by finding a contest to enter—then you have a deadline. Sometimes they can be remedied if you ask new “what if” questions and send it in a different direction. Sometimes they can be remedied by tossing them out with the garbage.

 

It’s up to you how to manage them!

To-Do Lists

I’ve been busy lately. My day job is unrelenting, my mother has been ill, and I sometimes I feel overwhelmed. I could put more pressure on myself by making a huge list of every task that needs to be done, but I won’t. Why? Because I found a to-do list method that keeps me going, but doesn’t add to my anxiety.

Time management is a topic that most people are familiar with. Some people like the long lists because they work better when they have that type of pressure. And they like the satisfaction of checking things off as they get done. Others don’t make lists, but take on items as they come up. Somehow they still manage to get the critical tasks done, along with handling smaller issues.

I used to be a hybrid of the two. I made lists so I wouldn’t forget to do certain things, but I also found myself stopping to address minor annoyances just to “get them off my plate.” My problem was that there were too many minor annoyances, and I felt like I wasn’t making any headway on larger projects. Then the stress built up, and it stopped my work.

If you have a system that works for you, that’s a huge plus. If you’re still looking, try Michael Linenberger’s The One Minute To-Do List (see my review here). I was skeptical at first, but after reading his book, I realized I knew the information, but wasn’t applying it effectively. It took a few tries for me to get in sync with Mr. Linenberger’s techniques, but once I got into the groove, it came naturally.

The system is flexible, and works on several platforms. I can plan ahead and easily change plans if I need to. But I always know what I’m doing, where I’m headed, and how I’m going to do it. Why wouldn’t I love that?

Do I always follow the process exactly? No. But I’m not a robot either. When I get off track, it’s easy to get back on—all it takes is a little bit of thought on my part. What is important, what can be put off for a short time, what can be put off for a longer time? It’s as simple as that! It puts the power back into my hands and gives me the control I need on my terms.

Time management doesn’t have to be a waste of time if it’s done right.

Verb Tense vs. Voice

Sometimes writers get confused by the difference between tense and voice. Hopefully this simplistic description will help: Tense is about time (past, present, or future), while voice is about action (active or passive). Our readers need context in order to understand when something is happening and who is doing something or whom something is happening to.

Now to go past the simplistic. Within each verb tense there are four more aspects to look at.

	PAST	PRESENT	FUTURE
SIMPLE—action at a particular point of time or happens repeatedly	I wrote yesterday.	I write every other day.	I will write tomorrow.
CONTINUOUS—action takes place over a period of time	I was writing when my agent called.	I am writing now.	I will be writing tomorrow.
PERFECT—action has already occurred, or will occur before another action takes place	I had written two short stories.	I have written several short stories.	I will have written a novel by the end of the year.
PERFECT CONTINUOUS—action is present has been occurring over time	I had been writing for years before being published.	I have been writing for one hour straight.	I will have been writing all day.

 

Voice depends upon the subject of the sentence. If the subject is acting, then the verb is active. If the subject isn’t acting, the verb is passive. To find passive verbs, look for 1) the “to be” verbs and a past particle of another verb (a past participle verb ends in “d”, “ed”, “n”, “en”, or “t”), or 2) a combination of two verbs.

ACTIVE	John wrote
TO BE + PAST PARTICIPLE	The story is being written by John
TWO VERB COMBINATION	The writing was done by John

Tense and voice need to match up so our story makes sense to our audience. Thinking about when something occurred and what the subject had to do with it will make our story clear. After all, we don’t want to confuse our readers, otherwise we’ll lose them.

Platform

Social media has taken the concept of “platform” to a new level. As writers, we know we need to have one, but sometimes it’s hard to figure out what to do. After all, there’s Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Shelfari, Goodreads, Pinterest, YouTube, and several other sites that you can use to promote your work. You also need to have a website, and a blog doesn’t hurt either.

I’m sure you’ve heard before that publishing houses like writers who already have a platform and established followers. Does that mean you can’t get your book published without a platform? Absolutely not. But as Christina Katz points out in Get Known Before the Book Deal (read my review here), a platform takes a long time to develop, and it’s a good idea to work on your platform before you are published.

I’ve heard that publishers rarely put big money into book promotion for authors, and expect the author to do most of the legwork. That is why it’s so important for us to get busy, get ourselves out there, and get known. If you’re a non-techie like me, that spells instant trouble. And if you’re like me and have a life that involves work and family, that spells double the trouble.

My solution was to find help. I could not have done my fantastic author webpage on my own (www.JoanneHirase.com), nor could I have figured out how to make a Facebook author page (https://www.facebook.com/Author.Joanne.Hirase), or optimize my Twitter (www.Twitter.com/@JHiraseStacey), and LinkedIn (www.linkedin.com/in/joannehirasestacey) accounts. Thanks to 2 Rivers Communication and Design, my name is out there. I haven’t delved into the other social media sites yet, but it may be in my future.

Yes, we need to put the time into self-promotion, but we also need to make room for writing. After all, if we don’t produce something, there is nothing to promote. Self-promotion can be difficult, but in this digital and fast-paced world, it is necessary.

If you don’t have the time, energy, or know-how to have a strong online presence, ask for help. There are several experts out there that you can hire, or who can give you the guidance you need. You don’t have to have a presence in every social media site, so target the ones you think will be most valuable for you. After all, you can always jump into another site later. Just start somewhere and see where it takes you.