Tuning In
A lot of runners have a mantra or certain songs that boost their running. These are three of my favorites.
When I have a hard time convincing myself to get out the door, I think of the movie Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer:
Put one foot in front of the other,
And soon you’ll be walking cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking out the door
It’s amazing how often those words have gotten me to move. And once I’m out there, I always wonder why it was so hard to get going. On my longer runs, I changed the lyrics to Turn, Turn, Turn by the Byrds, and this is what goes through my mind:
When running laps - turn, turn, turn
Out on the track - turn, turn, turn
Or running the trails, the road, or the golf courses
A time to be fast, a time to be slow
A time to train, a time to race
A time to rest, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
When running laps - turn, turn, turn
Out on the track - turn, turn, turn
Or running the trails, the road, or the golf courses
A time to build, a time to taper
A time to rejoice, a time to mourn
A time to cast away shoes
A time to buy brand new gear
When running laps - turn, turn, turn
Out on the track - turn, turn, turn
Or running the trails, the road, or the golf courses
A time of cold, a time of heat
A time of gels, a time of PRs
A time you may DNF
A time to drink down those electrolytes
When running laps - turn, turn, turn
Out on the track - turn, turn, turn
Or running the trails, the road, or the golf courses
A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to stretch, a time to massage
A time to love, a time to hate
Any time of day, I swear it's not too late!
Because I live on a mountain pass, I have a lot of hills. I can’t help but rock out to Spinning Wheel, by Blood, Sweat and Tears, and the lyrics I’ve created:
What goes up must come down
All those hills you can’t go around
Thinking about your knee pain it's a crying sin
Run like a wild pony
Let the running legs spin
You got no partners, and you, you got no dog
Training runs are sometimes a job
Thinking about your warm bed and you, you never learn
Run like a wild pony
Let the running legs turn
Did you find a directing sign
On the quiet and lonely long run?
Won’t you wear a friendly smile
Just let it shine through all the miles
And show the world you’re a runner for real
That finish line is waiting just for you
Running legs are running true
Drop your competition, by the river side
Run like a wild pony
Get your second wind, child
That PR is waiting just for you
Running legs are running true
Pick up the pace, by the river side
Run like a wild pony
Let the running legs fly
These little ditties help me through some tough times. I hope they’ll help you too, or at least put a smile on your face!
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
To my dear family and friends,
There is so much to do after a loved one passes, and I hope to help you so you can be more prepared in terms of the paperwork.
Even though it’s not a comfortable discussion to have (as no one wants to think about mortality!) talking about all of these things in advance will save you a lot of trouble when you no longer have the ability to talk about it.
My parents were very organized, so I was lucky enough not to have the added stress of looking for documents, accounts, and other paperwork. Because not everyone is that way, I’ve put together this short guide for you.
The funeral. First, know if there is a pre-paid funeral plan. If there is, the funeral planning process just got a lot easier for you! If there isn’t, it’s still not that hard—a good funeral director will be your best friend through the process. If there is a burial with an open casket viewing (and not a cremation or immediate burial), note that embalming needs to take place within 24 hours of death, so you’ll need to know what funeral home you’re using.
The death certificate: the funeral director will get the death certificates done for you. You’ll need to know the deceased’s social security number, mother’s maiden name, father’s name, place of birth, location of death (the facility name and county where it is located), occupation, and education level. The funeral director will complete the disposition and funeral home information and send it to the doctor for the medical certification. You will need to know how many death certificates you want, and the cost will be included in the cost of the funeral. But more on that later…
You will need to choose a burial site in a cemetery. My parents purchased their burial vault in 1973, so I didn’t have to do that. And the nice thing about the cemetery they chose is, the mortuary is located at the same place.
You will need to choose a casket. They are made of wood, steel, silver, or bronze. And they don’t come cheap!
You will need to bring clothes to the funeral home for the burial. The funeral home usually dresses the body the day before the service for an open casket, and invites the family to come and make sure everything looks as you wish it to.
The funeral director will also ask you if you wish to purchase flowers. They generally have a florist they work with, and if you purchase casket flowers and/or a stand, you can usually get a discount if you use that floral shop.
If the deceased was in the military, you’ll want to find the military discharge papers. The funeral director will contact the military branch, and they will be at the gravesite to fold and present the flag. Also, the military will provide a single marker headstone for free if you desire. You may also be eligible for a burial allowance.
The obituary: whatever you want to say is of course, up to you. You can write the obituary and give it to the funeral director and he/she will send it to the newspaper(s) of your choice. You’ll need to know what days you want it to run. The obituary will cost a certain amount per line, and a line is generally around 7 words. Adding a photo costs more as well! Here, you need the date of birth, date of death, and you may want to include the mother’s full name (including maiden name), father’s name, spouse’s name, children, grandchildren, hobbies, interests, church affiliations. You’ll also want to include the date and time of the service, location, viewing information, and internment information.
The program for the service: again, whatever you want to do is up to you. The standard items you’ll want to think about are pallbearers, honorary pallbearers, officiant (person conducting the service. If you don’t have anyone, the funeral director is more than happy to do it for you), family prayer, prelude and postlude music (the funeral home can pipe music in from their own CD or music you want to bring in), invocation, eulogy, benediction and the dedication of the grave.
While you’re making decisions at the funeral home, you’ll have to decide on a program cover and memory book. The program comes in two sizes, small and large. The funeral home has standard program covers, or you can make your own with photos or other artwork. Don’t forget, there are four sides to the program and you can use all four if you want. The programs usually come in sets of 100, as do the thank you cards, and again you’ll have to choose the cover to the card. Most of the time you can purchase it all in a package. The memory books come in different types as well—cardboard covers, plastic covers, leather covers, and wood covers.
Then there is the headstone. Many cemeteries are now requiring in-ground monuments instead of the type that stand up. The funeral director can often tell you what monument company they work with, and you can usually get a discount if you use that monument company. You’ll have to choose the color of granite, the design, and if the deceased was married, you can opt to engrave the spouse’s name and date of birth at the time the monument is made. The monument company has a lot of standard designs or you can bring in your own.
Just remember, funerals don’t come cheap. Besides all of the things listed above, you have to pay for the services of the funeral director and staff, the use of the facility if you’re doing the viewing and/or service there, the hearse, and the limousine. Our final cost for my dad was $16,200.00!
Important papers: it is so much easier if you know where all the important papers are kept. Here are some things to keep in mind:
Wills: if there is a will, know where it is located. Sometimes you may find that the document has been altered several times. If so, have a new, clean document drawn up so there is no question about the deceased’s wishes. In fact, a will is a dynamic document that should be revisited often. You’ll save a lot of headache if there is only one will that has no handwriting on it other than the signatures.
Insurance policies: do you know the life insurance company name and the policy number(s)? You’ll need a death certificate for each life insurance company.
Bank accounts: do you know where they bank and the account numbers? Each bank will need a death certificate as well in order to close the account. One thought here is, you may want to consider a payable on death account, especially in a community property state like Idaho or California. Without one, or if the person dies without a will, you may be forced to file paperwork with the court as the personal representative and get a court order allowing you to close the account.
Credit cards: you’ll need to notify the credit card companies and close the account. Some will require a death certificate, others will not. If there is a balance on a credit card, call and ask if there is credit life insurance that will pay off the account balance upon death.
Loans and investments: if there are outstanding loans, you probably want to know about them now so you can be prepared to pay them. If there are investments such as stock, options, futures accounts, CDs, annuities, you’ll need to know the company name and account numbers. To close the accounts, you’ll most likely need death certificates.
Titles: you will have to change the title to automobiles, homes and other property. You’ll need to locate the titles and deeds, and you may need death certificates for each. Before you do anything though, you will probably want to consult with an accountant or tax attorney, otherwise you may end up with a tax nightmare!
Outstanding bills: you will want to make a list of all the bills that come monthly, quarterly, semi-annually or annually. The estate is still responsible for making all these payments, so be prepared to pay them.
Count up the number of death certificates you think you’ll need and add a few, just in case. If you don’t get enough, you can order them yourself through the state, or contact the funeral director, and he/she will order more for you.
Phone calls: besides all of the calls you’ll be making to life insurance companies, financial institutions and creditors, here are some other calls you’ll need to make:
Social security: there may be a one-time benefit to a surviving spouse or dependent children, or an increase in benefits to the surviving spouse. Call early in the morning—you’ll have a better chance of getting someone to answer the phone! If the deceased is on Medicare, social security will also notify Medicare.
Health insurance: you will want to contact the health insurance company. I had to call two places because part of my dad’s health insurance was covered by AARP (the prescription drug program).
Pension plan: it is important to know where the pension checks are coming from. You will want to contact them as soon as possible, otherwise you’ll have to pay them back. Depending on the type of pension payment, there may be a continued benefit for the surviving spouse.
Subscriptions: you’ll want to go through the mail to cancel subscriptions and any other unnecessary things that come in.
Because every situation will be different, you may have other preparations, paperwork, and calls you need to make. But this is meant to be a starting point for you, to help ease the burden a bit.
Now for that fun caveat: even though I am an attorney, this is by no means meant to be legal advice. Consult a wills and estate attorney or a tax attorney for more in-depth information about wills, and money issues as the laws are different from state to state and they change often!
There is so much to do after a loved one passes, and I hope to help you so you can be more prepared in terms of the paperwork.
Even though it’s not a comfortable discussion to have (as no one wants to think about mortality!) talking about all of these things in advance will save you a lot of trouble when you no longer have the ability to talk about it.
My parents were very organized, so I was lucky enough not to have the added stress of looking for documents, accounts, and other paperwork. Because not everyone is that way, I’ve put together this short guide for you.
The funeral. First, know if there is a pre-paid funeral plan. If there is, the funeral planning process just got a lot easier for you! If there isn’t, it’s still not that hard—a good funeral director will be your best friend through the process. If there is a burial with an open casket viewing (and not a cremation or immediate burial), note that embalming needs to take place within 24 hours of death, so you’ll need to know what funeral home you’re using.
The death certificate: the funeral director will get the death certificates done for you. You’ll need to know the deceased’s social security number, mother’s maiden name, father’s name, place of birth, location of death (the facility name and county where it is located), occupation, and education level. The funeral director will complete the disposition and funeral home information and send it to the doctor for the medical certification. You will need to know how many death certificates you want, and the cost will be included in the cost of the funeral. But more on that later…
You will need to choose a burial site in a cemetery. My parents purchased their burial vault in 1973, so I didn’t have to do that. And the nice thing about the cemetery they chose is, the mortuary is located at the same place.
You will need to choose a casket. They are made of wood, steel, silver, or bronze. And they don’t come cheap!
You will need to bring clothes to the funeral home for the burial. The funeral home usually dresses the body the day before the service for an open casket, and invites the family to come and make sure everything looks as you wish it to.
The funeral director will also ask you if you wish to purchase flowers. They generally have a florist they work with, and if you purchase casket flowers and/or a stand, you can usually get a discount if you use that floral shop.
If the deceased was in the military, you’ll want to find the military discharge papers. The funeral director will contact the military branch, and they will be at the gravesite to fold and present the flag. Also, the military will provide a single marker headstone for free if you desire. You may also be eligible for a burial allowance.
The obituary: whatever you want to say is of course, up to you. You can write the obituary and give it to the funeral director and he/she will send it to the newspaper(s) of your choice. You’ll need to know what days you want it to run. The obituary will cost a certain amount per line, and a line is generally around 7 words. Adding a photo costs more as well! Here, you need the date of birth, date of death, and you may want to include the mother’s full name (including maiden name), father’s name, spouse’s name, children, grandchildren, hobbies, interests, church affiliations. You’ll also want to include the date and time of the service, location, viewing information, and internment information.
The program for the service: again, whatever you want to do is up to you. The standard items you’ll want to think about are pallbearers, honorary pallbearers, officiant (person conducting the service. If you don’t have anyone, the funeral director is more than happy to do it for you), family prayer, prelude and postlude music (the funeral home can pipe music in from their own CD or music you want to bring in), invocation, eulogy, benediction and the dedication of the grave.
While you’re making decisions at the funeral home, you’ll have to decide on a program cover and memory book. The program comes in two sizes, small and large. The funeral home has standard program covers, or you can make your own with photos or other artwork. Don’t forget, there are four sides to the program and you can use all four if you want. The programs usually come in sets of 100, as do the thank you cards, and again you’ll have to choose the cover to the card. Most of the time you can purchase it all in a package. The memory books come in different types as well—cardboard covers, plastic covers, leather covers, and wood covers.
Then there is the headstone. Many cemeteries are now requiring in-ground monuments instead of the type that stand up. The funeral director can often tell you what monument company they work with, and you can usually get a discount if you use that monument company. You’ll have to choose the color of granite, the design, and if the deceased was married, you can opt to engrave the spouse’s name and date of birth at the time the monument is made. The monument company has a lot of standard designs or you can bring in your own.
Just remember, funerals don’t come cheap. Besides all of the things listed above, you have to pay for the services of the funeral director and staff, the use of the facility if you’re doing the viewing and/or service there, the hearse, and the limousine. Our final cost for my dad was $16,200.00!
Important papers: it is so much easier if you know where all the important papers are kept. Here are some things to keep in mind:
Wills: if there is a will, know where it is located. Sometimes you may find that the document has been altered several times. If so, have a new, clean document drawn up so there is no question about the deceased’s wishes. In fact, a will is a dynamic document that should be revisited often. You’ll save a lot of headache if there is only one will that has no handwriting on it other than the signatures.
Insurance policies: do you know the life insurance company name and the policy number(s)? You’ll need a death certificate for each life insurance company.
Bank accounts: do you know where they bank and the account numbers? Each bank will need a death certificate as well in order to close the account. One thought here is, you may want to consider a payable on death account, especially in a community property state like Idaho or California. Without one, or if the person dies without a will, you may be forced to file paperwork with the court as the personal representative and get a court order allowing you to close the account.
Credit cards: you’ll need to notify the credit card companies and close the account. Some will require a death certificate, others will not. If there is a balance on a credit card, call and ask if there is credit life insurance that will pay off the account balance upon death.
Loans and investments: if there are outstanding loans, you probably want to know about them now so you can be prepared to pay them. If there are investments such as stock, options, futures accounts, CDs, annuities, you’ll need to know the company name and account numbers. To close the accounts, you’ll most likely need death certificates.
Titles: you will have to change the title to automobiles, homes and other property. You’ll need to locate the titles and deeds, and you may need death certificates for each. Before you do anything though, you will probably want to consult with an accountant or tax attorney, otherwise you may end up with a tax nightmare!
Outstanding bills: you will want to make a list of all the bills that come monthly, quarterly, semi-annually or annually. The estate is still responsible for making all these payments, so be prepared to pay them.
Count up the number of death certificates you think you’ll need and add a few, just in case. If you don’t get enough, you can order them yourself through the state, or contact the funeral director, and he/she will order more for you.
Phone calls: besides all of the calls you’ll be making to life insurance companies, financial institutions and creditors, here are some other calls you’ll need to make:
Social security: there may be a one-time benefit to a surviving spouse or dependent children, or an increase in benefits to the surviving spouse. Call early in the morning—you’ll have a better chance of getting someone to answer the phone! If the deceased is on Medicare, social security will also notify Medicare.
Health insurance: you will want to contact the health insurance company. I had to call two places because part of my dad’s health insurance was covered by AARP (the prescription drug program).
Pension plan: it is important to know where the pension checks are coming from. You will want to contact them as soon as possible, otherwise you’ll have to pay them back. Depending on the type of pension payment, there may be a continued benefit for the surviving spouse.
Subscriptions: you’ll want to go through the mail to cancel subscriptions and any other unnecessary things that come in.
Because every situation will be different, you may have other preparations, paperwork, and calls you need to make. But this is meant to be a starting point for you, to help ease the burden a bit.
Now for that fun caveat: even though I am an attorney, this is by no means meant to be legal advice. Consult a wills and estate attorney or a tax attorney for more in-depth information about wills, and money issues as the laws are different from state to state and they change often!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
It's Father's Day today.
My dad broke my heart last month by passing away unexpectedly.
I'm still trying to process what happened and why. I'm still trying to figure out a new routine, going from a family of four to a family of three. I'm still trying to deal with notifying banks, closing credit cards, life insurance, health insurance, car insurance, homeowners insurance, etc.
It has often been said that death is harder on the living, and it is so true. There are so many things to do after the death of a loved one, and it takes time and energy. But more on that next week...
Today, I want to remember my dad.
He was a happy man, and I have proof--every person I have talked to says the same thing. He was always laughing and smiling and he enjoyed life. If he was troubled, you didn't know about it. If he was sad or angry, you didn't know about it. All you knew was the pleasure he had in living, and the joy he took in the things he did.
It's an outlook most of us don't have. We worry about paying the bills. We worry about what to cook for dinner. We worry about things we don't have control over. And that worry is verbalized and projected into the world.
In retrospect, my dad taught me that life is about living fully and being present and we should enjoy the people and things we have.
The words to a song keep playing over and over in my head, "You don't know what you've got until it's gone, and I found out a little too late."
These words are so true, and I have a lot of regrets about things on my part--unkept promises, short tempers and impatience, selfishness and disrespect--all toward a man who gave me life and love and everything I ever wanted.
Today I wish I could hug him and tell him I love him. I wish we could go for a drive and to the reservoir to fish. I wish we could work in the garden together. I wish we could just sit down and talk because there is so much I don't know about him.
But the time is gone and he has left me.
So I'm sorry dad, that we don't get to be together in this life any longer. But if I know you, you're having a great time with your brother, your mom and dad, and other relatives and friends you've grieved over.
Thank you for being my hero ... I love you!
My dad broke my heart last month by passing away unexpectedly.
I'm still trying to process what happened and why. I'm still trying to figure out a new routine, going from a family of four to a family of three. I'm still trying to deal with notifying banks, closing credit cards, life insurance, health insurance, car insurance, homeowners insurance, etc.
It has often been said that death is harder on the living, and it is so true. There are so many things to do after the death of a loved one, and it takes time and energy. But more on that next week...
Today, I want to remember my dad.
He was a happy man, and I have proof--every person I have talked to says the same thing. He was always laughing and smiling and he enjoyed life. If he was troubled, you didn't know about it. If he was sad or angry, you didn't know about it. All you knew was the pleasure he had in living, and the joy he took in the things he did.
It's an outlook most of us don't have. We worry about paying the bills. We worry about what to cook for dinner. We worry about things we don't have control over. And that worry is verbalized and projected into the world.
In retrospect, my dad taught me that life is about living fully and being present and we should enjoy the people and things we have.
The words to a song keep playing over and over in my head, "You don't know what you've got until it's gone, and I found out a little too late."
These words are so true, and I have a lot of regrets about things on my part--unkept promises, short tempers and impatience, selfishness and disrespect--all toward a man who gave me life and love and everything I ever wanted.
Today I wish I could hug him and tell him I love him. I wish we could go for a drive and to the reservoir to fish. I wish we could work in the garden together. I wish we could just sit down and talk because there is so much I don't know about him.
But the time is gone and he has left me.
So I'm sorry dad, that we don't get to be together in this life any longer. But if I know you, you're having a great time with your brother, your mom and dad, and other relatives and friends you've grieved over.
Thank you for being my hero ... I love you!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Life sure throws a lot of curveballs--the kind of stuff that keeps us on our toes.
The sweet kitty I told you about last week died, and I had to sit back and wonder why. It was thriving and fat and happy, and it's hard for me to accept that some things just happen. I admire the woman who cared for kitty, and remind myself that in ten days of life, kitty had more love and affection than some people do for an entire lifetime. Now kitty has heavenly love, the kind that we all should look forward to, where there is no hurt, no pain, no sadness. Where there is abundant joy, camaraderie, and never-ending peace.
It's unfortunate we can't experience that here on earth.
The sweet kitty I told you about last week died, and I had to sit back and wonder why. It was thriving and fat and happy, and it's hard for me to accept that some things just happen. I admire the woman who cared for kitty, and remind myself that in ten days of life, kitty had more love and affection than some people do for an entire lifetime. Now kitty has heavenly love, the kind that we all should look forward to, where there is no hurt, no pain, no sadness. Where there is abundant joy, camaraderie, and never-ending peace.
It's unfortunate we can't experience that here on earth.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Last week, I told about loss of life and the ensuing sadness that accompanies it.
Today, I have a different story...
On Monday, I went out our back door to get pit bull Zeb out of the muddy garden. We never use that door. I heard a strange noise, and when I looked in the window well, I saw two baby kittens. I ran to get my husband, and told him I was sure one was dead, but the other was making all kinds of noise. He got them out and confirmed my suspicions about one, and said the other was so cold, he didn't think it would survive.
We brought the baby inside--it's eyes weren't open yet and it was about 4 inches long. We warmed it up and I got on the phone, trying to figure out what to do. I finally called one of our veterinarians, and her staff was willing to nurture the kitten. I drove 50+ miles to deliver the little ball of fur. I had to give this poor thing the best chance at life possible.
When I arrived, they told me the kitty was only 3 days old had a 50/50 chance of surviving. They checked it out and put it in the incubator. I left with hope and prayed the kitten would live.
I take one of my dogs into the vet three times a week for laser therapy treatment (fascinating technology, by the way!) When I went on Wednesday, I was anxious about the kitty. We were greeted with smiles--it was still alive.
Kitty is thriving and doing well. It is very active and was saved from a life as a feral cat.
And how fitting for our Easter celebration, that we celebrate life!
Today, I have a different story...
On Monday, I went out our back door to get pit bull Zeb out of the muddy garden. We never use that door. I heard a strange noise, and when I looked in the window well, I saw two baby kittens. I ran to get my husband, and told him I was sure one was dead, but the other was making all kinds of noise. He got them out and confirmed my suspicions about one, and said the other was so cold, he didn't think it would survive.
We brought the baby inside--it's eyes weren't open yet and it was about 4 inches long. We warmed it up and I got on the phone, trying to figure out what to do. I finally called one of our veterinarians, and her staff was willing to nurture the kitten. I drove 50+ miles to deliver the little ball of fur. I had to give this poor thing the best chance at life possible.
When I arrived, they told me the kitty was only 3 days old had a 50/50 chance of surviving. They checked it out and put it in the incubator. I left with hope and prayed the kitten would live.
I take one of my dogs into the vet three times a week for laser therapy treatment (fascinating technology, by the way!) When I went on Wednesday, I was anxious about the kitty. We were greeted with smiles--it was still alive.
Kitty is thriving and doing well. It is very active and was saved from a life as a feral cat.
And how fitting for our Easter celebration, that we celebrate life!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Last Wednesday I had to take one of my dogs to the vet. A man came running in and said he parked his truck on the side of the building. A couple of people ran out with a big purple stretcher and brought a big black lab inside.
The dog had been hit by a car.
I watched one of the technicians run around and gather supplies while the doctor carefully examined the dog. I could hear labored breathing, and looked in the room. The dog's eyes were closed, and he didn't appear to have any serious wounds. He looked like he was merely asleep.
His owner kneeled on the floor beside him, crying, asking the vet to do anything she could to save him. My heart broke.
The dog's injuries were too severe, and he didn't make it.
I couldn't help but think about the tenuous string that keeps us on earth. We take so much for granted, believing our life will go on. We don't think to love those around us every day. We miss some great opportunities, don't we?
When I'm busy, I forget to take a moment to hug my dogs, my husband, my parents. I worry about is the work I think has to get done, when I should be worrying about loving those around me.
For they too could be gone.
The dog had been hit by a car.
I watched one of the technicians run around and gather supplies while the doctor carefully examined the dog. I could hear labored breathing, and looked in the room. The dog's eyes were closed, and he didn't appear to have any serious wounds. He looked like he was merely asleep.
His owner kneeled on the floor beside him, crying, asking the vet to do anything she could to save him. My heart broke.
The dog's injuries were too severe, and he didn't make it.
I couldn't help but think about the tenuous string that keeps us on earth. We take so much for granted, believing our life will go on. We don't think to love those around us every day. We miss some great opportunities, don't we?
When I'm busy, I forget to take a moment to hug my dogs, my husband, my parents. I worry about is the work I think has to get done, when I should be worrying about loving those around me.
For they too could be gone.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
My muse has been waking me up every morning at 3 o'clock. I love the way she works!
I have good feelings about a couple of projects I'm working on, and my subconscious mind never stops. It's always churning and percolating, so I have to follow it. I'm just glad it's not the middle of winter and freezing cold, so I'll get out of bed to work.
For example, on Friday I was presented with an opportunity to apply for some great work. The application process was a one-page letter, no more. So I wrestled with the idea a bit on Friday, and Saturday morning at 3 o'clock, I woke up with an idea. I got up, and in fifteen minutes had the letter written. I went back to bed, and a few hours later went back to the letter, made a few changes and sent it off.
We'll see what the result is! Even if it is a rejection, I feel good about it.
I know my muse wants me to succeed, and is helping me, even if it's at terrible hours.
Besides, who said success is easy?
I have good feelings about a couple of projects I'm working on, and my subconscious mind never stops. It's always churning and percolating, so I have to follow it. I'm just glad it's not the middle of winter and freezing cold, so I'll get out of bed to work.
For example, on Friday I was presented with an opportunity to apply for some great work. The application process was a one-page letter, no more. So I wrestled with the idea a bit on Friday, and Saturday morning at 3 o'clock, I woke up with an idea. I got up, and in fifteen minutes had the letter written. I went back to bed, and a few hours later went back to the letter, made a few changes and sent it off.
We'll see what the result is! Even if it is a rejection, I feel good about it.
I know my muse wants me to succeed, and is helping me, even if it's at terrible hours.
Besides, who said success is easy?
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Perseverance equals pain equals success.
That is my reality right now. On a weak day last January, I told a friend I'd run a half marathon with her in April. I should have looked outside at the blizzard when I made that promise. Sure, I cross train like crazy in the winter, but it's not the same as pounding the ground, one foot in front of the other.
When the weather finally started to warm up and clear up, I decided I had to have an unconventional training plan. I went for an eight mile run. Sure, I made it, but it was painful. And the only run I took that week. Last week it was a nine miler--again the only run for the week. I should have gone ten this week, but I am unrealistic when it comes to distance and thought I ran farther than I did. When I measured the distance, I was disappointed to see I only went 7.2 miles.
I tried to run this morning, but halfway up the hill, it started to snow. And snow around here can turn into a blizzard in a matter of seconds, so I ran the rest of the way up the hill as fast as I could and turned back for home. 1.4 miles.
How am I going to make it 13.1 miles training like this? Perseverance equals pain equals success. I will keep running farther and farther until I hit 13 miles on April 10, the week before the race. It is a race where I will be a winner, only because I persevered and ended up n pain.
Writing feels like this some days. It is painful to pound the keyboard day after day, hoping to make it as a writer.
Perseverance equals pain equals success. It's just the way it is.
That is my reality right now. On a weak day last January, I told a friend I'd run a half marathon with her in April. I should have looked outside at the blizzard when I made that promise. Sure, I cross train like crazy in the winter, but it's not the same as pounding the ground, one foot in front of the other.
When the weather finally started to warm up and clear up, I decided I had to have an unconventional training plan. I went for an eight mile run. Sure, I made it, but it was painful. And the only run I took that week. Last week it was a nine miler--again the only run for the week. I should have gone ten this week, but I am unrealistic when it comes to distance and thought I ran farther than I did. When I measured the distance, I was disappointed to see I only went 7.2 miles.
I tried to run this morning, but halfway up the hill, it started to snow. And snow around here can turn into a blizzard in a matter of seconds, so I ran the rest of the way up the hill as fast as I could and turned back for home. 1.4 miles.
How am I going to make it 13.1 miles training like this? Perseverance equals pain equals success. I will keep running farther and farther until I hit 13 miles on April 10, the week before the race. It is a race where I will be a winner, only because I persevered and ended up n pain.
Writing feels like this some days. It is painful to pound the keyboard day after day, hoping to make it as a writer.
Perseverance equals pain equals success. It's just the way it is.
Friday, March 5, 2010
I love it when new ideas start coming together to make a congruent whole!
It's amazing what happens when you hit on something that feels right. It has motility and is simmering in the subconscious mind at all times.
I've been churning around a plot for a few weeks, and it feels good. It feels like what I need to write. The excitement is there, the what if's are being asked and answered. I'm in the right place at the right time, connected to my inner thoughts.
The process of actually writing isn't this simple, but if I can keep the excitement cranked up at a high level, the words should fall out pretty easily. It's happened before, and it will happen again. Of course there will be days of struggle, but those are the days that remind me I'm only human. And I cherish those days because it makes the end result all the more wonderful.
Write on, friends!
It's amazing what happens when you hit on something that feels right. It has motility and is simmering in the subconscious mind at all times.
I've been churning around a plot for a few weeks, and it feels good. It feels like what I need to write. The excitement is there, the what if's are being asked and answered. I'm in the right place at the right time, connected to my inner thoughts.
The process of actually writing isn't this simple, but if I can keep the excitement cranked up at a high level, the words should fall out pretty easily. It's happened before, and it will happen again. Of course there will be days of struggle, but those are the days that remind me I'm only human. And I cherish those days because it makes the end result all the more wonderful.
Write on, friends!
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Where did February go?
It seems like time passes faster and faster, the more I have on my plate. But I look at it as a good thing because my plate could be empty.
I'm currently doing research for a new novel--a creation from the mind of my husband. He has a fantastic imagination, of which I'm jealous. He often tells me I have no imagination, although I know it's not true. He just sees more in life than I do.
I thought about why that might be, and came to the realization that he takes time to notice things a little more deeply. He let's his mind wander in the wonder, while I skim past and don't put much thought into the event. He does the writerly thing and asks "what if", even though he isn't a writer.
I need to remember that slowing down and asking "what if" will put me in a new dimension of ideas. It might increase the heap on my plate, but it may also make my plate larger and able to accommodate more.
It's worth a try!
It seems like time passes faster and faster, the more I have on my plate. But I look at it as a good thing because my plate could be empty.
I'm currently doing research for a new novel--a creation from the mind of my husband. He has a fantastic imagination, of which I'm jealous. He often tells me I have no imagination, although I know it's not true. He just sees more in life than I do.
I thought about why that might be, and came to the realization that he takes time to notice things a little more deeply. He let's his mind wander in the wonder, while I skim past and don't put much thought into the event. He does the writerly thing and asks "what if", even though he isn't a writer.
I need to remember that slowing down and asking "what if" will put me in a new dimension of ideas. It might increase the heap on my plate, but it may also make my plate larger and able to accommodate more.
It's worth a try!
Friday, February 19, 2010
My husband has a great imagination, something I am jealous of. I see a snow-capped mountain and he sees adventure. I see a field of yellow flowers while he sees romance. Some days I'm convinced I had the childlike curiosity sucked out of me when I nurtured my analytical brain, leaving the creative side of me behind.
Now that I'm writing more, I'm starting to see little changes in my thoughts. I am taking the time to notice the world around me. I'm playing the "what if?" game a lot more. And this process is enlarging my vision.
My husband recently came up with an idea for a book, and it is intriguing. While we were driving, I asked him questions about his idea and took notes. In response to some of my questions, he told me to think up what would happen, and I got annoyed. But after I took a step back, the outline started to take shape. I'm on my way to writing another novel, and still hoping to publish the one I've been sending out, as well as the manuscripts I am polishing.
I feel like I'm moving in the right direction in terms of my creative journey. And I'm looking forward to all the possibilities it has!
Now that I'm writing more, I'm starting to see little changes in my thoughts. I am taking the time to notice the world around me. I'm playing the "what if?" game a lot more. And this process is enlarging my vision.
My husband recently came up with an idea for a book, and it is intriguing. While we were driving, I asked him questions about his idea and took notes. In response to some of my questions, he told me to think up what would happen, and I got annoyed. But after I took a step back, the outline started to take shape. I'm on my way to writing another novel, and still hoping to publish the one I've been sending out, as well as the manuscripts I am polishing.
I feel like I'm moving in the right direction in terms of my creative journey. And I'm looking forward to all the possibilities it has!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Do you ever have the feeling of overwhelm?
There are days that I find myself in that position, and it paralyzes me, which adds to the overwhelm. I look at my to-do list and my throat starts constricting and my heart starts racing. The list is so long, I know it can't possibly get done and then I feel like a failure.
This vicious cycle leads nowhere. It surely doesn't help me get anything done.
I've been trying a few different ways to get myself back in control, and surprisingly, they work. So I thought I'd share my insights in hopes that it can help you as well.
The first thing I have done is broken my to-do list into smaller steps. Manageable steps. It makes my list much longer, but the joy of seeing items crossed off is worth it.
Next, I prioritize the tasks. I love being able to mix it up and work on a lot of projects in one day.
Then I estimate the amount of time it will take to do each task. This is where I struggle the most because I still think I'm Super Woman and can get things done faster than I actually can. I'm learning to cushion the time well because when I don't, it adds to my overwhelm.
Last, I use a timer. I set it for the amount of time I allotted to the task, and get to work. I can make a game out of it, Beat The Clock, Race To The Deadline. But that timer really keeps me on task and keeps me motivated.
It's not a perfect system because it doesn't account for the interruptions and the unforeseen problems, but it is helping me keep my sanity.
My husband and dogs appreciate that.
There are days that I find myself in that position, and it paralyzes me, which adds to the overwhelm. I look at my to-do list and my throat starts constricting and my heart starts racing. The list is so long, I know it can't possibly get done and then I feel like a failure.
This vicious cycle leads nowhere. It surely doesn't help me get anything done.
I've been trying a few different ways to get myself back in control, and surprisingly, they work. So I thought I'd share my insights in hopes that it can help you as well.
The first thing I have done is broken my to-do list into smaller steps. Manageable steps. It makes my list much longer, but the joy of seeing items crossed off is worth it.
Next, I prioritize the tasks. I love being able to mix it up and work on a lot of projects in one day.
Then I estimate the amount of time it will take to do each task. This is where I struggle the most because I still think I'm Super Woman and can get things done faster than I actually can. I'm learning to cushion the time well because when I don't, it adds to my overwhelm.
Last, I use a timer. I set it for the amount of time I allotted to the task, and get to work. I can make a game out of it, Beat The Clock, Race To The Deadline. But that timer really keeps me on task and keeps me motivated.
It's not a perfect system because it doesn't account for the interruptions and the unforeseen problems, but it is helping me keep my sanity.
My husband and dogs appreciate that.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
We are already into February--2010 is off to a running start!
I have been thinking about ways to make 2010 prosperous, and I realize that continuous learning is the key. So often we get stuck in a rut, doing the same things over and over again, instead of stretching ourselves beyond our self-made boundaries.
Sure, learning new things can be painful. Mistakes will be made. Convincing others to give you a chance is difficult. And learning takes precious time that we sometimes feel we don't have.
Building confidence in ourselves is another stumbling block. Somewhere along the line, we learned it is bad to fail. These kinds of limiting thoughts will never push us forward, but keep us in our daily grind.
So I am looking at 2010 through the eyes of a learner. I am going to pursue new avenues and new ideas and will embrace them. It can't hurt me to know more--what will hurt me is not trying.
I have been thinking about ways to make 2010 prosperous, and I realize that continuous learning is the key. So often we get stuck in a rut, doing the same things over and over again, instead of stretching ourselves beyond our self-made boundaries.
Sure, learning new things can be painful. Mistakes will be made. Convincing others to give you a chance is difficult. And learning takes precious time that we sometimes feel we don't have.
Building confidence in ourselves is another stumbling block. Somewhere along the line, we learned it is bad to fail. These kinds of limiting thoughts will never push us forward, but keep us in our daily grind.
So I am looking at 2010 through the eyes of a learner. I am going to pursue new avenues and new ideas and will embrace them. It can't hurt me to know more--what will hurt me is not trying.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Here is the last bit of advice for 2010. It's about Life...
1. Do the right thing!
2. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
3. GOD heals everything.
4. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
5. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
6. The best is yet to come.
7. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
8. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
I especially love number 6! Life has presented some challenges over the past year, but I'm feeling more and more hopeful every day that the tough times are coming to an end. That's not to say there won't be new hurdles to cross, but they'll be different and keep me on my toes!
Looking forward to the rest of a great year...
1. Do the right thing!
2. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
3. GOD heals everything.
4. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
5. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
6. The best is yet to come.
7. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
8. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
I especially love number 6! Life has presented some challenges over the past year, but I'm feeling more and more hopeful every day that the tough times are coming to an end. That's not to say there won't be new hurdles to cross, but they'll be different and keep me on my toes!
Looking forward to the rest of a great year...
Saturday, January 23, 2010
This week's advice for 2010 is about society:
1. Call your family often.
2. Each day give something good to others.
3. Forgive everyone for everything.
4. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
5. Try to make at least 3 people smile each day.
6. What other people think of you is none of your business.
7. Your job won't take care of you when you're sick--your friends will. Stay in touch.
Again they are so simple, but we get so wrapped up in our own selves that we neglect others, hold grudges, and forget how joy feels.
Life is meant to be shared, so share it well.
1. Call your family often.
2. Each day give something good to others.
3. Forgive everyone for everything.
4. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
5. Try to make at least 3 people smile each day.
6. What other people think of you is none of your business.
7. Your job won't take care of you when you're sick--your friends will. Stay in touch.
Again they are so simple, but we get so wrapped up in our own selves that we neglect others, hold grudges, and forget how joy feels.
Life is meant to be shared, so share it well.
Friday, January 15, 2010
This week's advice for 2010 deals with personality:
Personality:
1. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don't have negative thoughts over things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
3. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
6. Dream more while you are awake.
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
8. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
10. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13. Smile and laugh more.
14. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
There are definitely items on this list that I can take to heart. I realize I waste a lot of time dwelling on the past or being angry or jealous of others. In order to move forward, I need to keep pushing myself forward. Only I can make my dreams come true!
Personality:
1. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don't have negative thoughts over things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
3. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
6. Dream more while you are awake.
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
8. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
10. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13. Smile and laugh more.
14. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
There are definitely items on this list that I can take to heart. I realize I waste a lot of time dwelling on the past or being angry or jealous of others. In order to move forward, I need to keep pushing myself forward. Only I can make my dreams come true!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
I read some advice for 2010 that a friend emailed me and thought I'd share the first ten, which are about health.
Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009 .
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.
There are things on this list that I can definitely work on to improve my health. They seem so simple, so the question is, why do some of them seem so hard? I've got to remember not to take my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual self for granted, especially as I age.
I hope these are inspirational for you as well. I'll post more later!
Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009 .
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.
There are things on this list that I can definitely work on to improve my health. They seem so simple, so the question is, why do some of them seem so hard? I've got to remember not to take my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual self for granted, especially as I age.
I hope these are inspirational for you as well. I'll post more later!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
It's 2010.
I had a lot of interesting adventures in 2009 and am looking forward to whatever 2010 brings my way.
I made resolutions, like I do every year. My list is much shorter this year though.
For starters, in the first quarter of 2010, I will send out at least one query or piece of fiction each week. In the second quarter, I will increase that to two each week, three each week for third quarter, and four a week for fourth quarter.
I will also run at least three half marathons this year, and one will be a PR.
And last, I will be more patient and loving, and spend more time with my family and friends. I don't want to miss any opportunity to let them know how much they mean to me.
Uncle Kay, I will miss you! Thank you for all the great memories and for always sharing your bright spirit and hearty laughter. Until we meet again...
I had a lot of interesting adventures in 2009 and am looking forward to whatever 2010 brings my way.
I made resolutions, like I do every year. My list is much shorter this year though.
For starters, in the first quarter of 2010, I will send out at least one query or piece of fiction each week. In the second quarter, I will increase that to two each week, three each week for third quarter, and four a week for fourth quarter.
I will also run at least three half marathons this year, and one will be a PR.
And last, I will be more patient and loving, and spend more time with my family and friends. I don't want to miss any opportunity to let them know how much they mean to me.
Uncle Kay, I will miss you! Thank you for all the great memories and for always sharing your bright spirit and hearty laughter. Until we meet again...
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